Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Another heart beats attacked

15.05.2013
A had a friend, a friend that didn't contact for 6 years although he "parked" on my Facebook for years. We don't chat at all and we don't even have much memory on our friendship.
One day, he texted me which really surprised me. And thing goes good and smooth between us. During our conversation, he started to approach me by saying words like"chasing". I thought he was joking or even until now I am not sure whether he is telling the truth or not. But I should admitted that my heart is shaking because of his sweet reaction toward me. 
I started to love his voices, feel excited to his reply and started to wait for his call. I feel bad if I didn't receive any news of him, lost appetite, worrying and so on. I am in fever now and I keep telling myself that," hey, stop dreaming. He is just fooling you and how could a person suddenly approaching you. And if really that he did, also will not cross the topic so fast by saying marriage and etc." I am touched when he lower down his voice by saying those words. Although I am in doubt but somehow I wish it's true.
I started to give myself many excuses and I did something wrong by trying to give him hopes of future growth on relationship. 
i am wrong, i am wrong. Girl, this is your future and once you make any mistake and there might be no "undo". Now, I am questioning myself again. Will I manage to end and start again? How am I going to end and start? I afraid to regret and I don't wish to let either.